:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
COCAINE IS GR8
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
