Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
