I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
