i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
