I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
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He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
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Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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