I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
