Is it normal to miss your booty call?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Life is so much better after having sex.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm determined to sit on that face.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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