As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
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currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
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I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
try to milk me bitch
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