I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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