Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
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I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
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I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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