First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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