Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
