dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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