Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
