the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
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