I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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