Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
how drunk are you?
Several
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
