Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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