Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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