so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
