You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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