is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
