3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
