Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I won't apologize to a one balled man
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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