ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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