Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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