So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
