we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
