He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
