Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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