the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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