Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize