if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
did you just send me my own nude
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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