yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
