I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
