All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
