I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
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