I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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