dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
