Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
