Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
