K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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