oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Randomize
