Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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