i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
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walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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