Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize