I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
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level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
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You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
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