he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
