just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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