I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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