Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
