Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
