This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
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So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
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It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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