i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize