Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
