we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
