I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
