Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize