guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
