I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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