PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
