When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
