An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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