i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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